he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Operation Purity has been aborted
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
