did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
