Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
