i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
