I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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