I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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