can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
