I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
