just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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