Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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