Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
