i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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