We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
