Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize