Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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