Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize