WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
