my mouth tastes like poor choices
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
