I puked a lego.
Everything about him screamed your future.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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