I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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