The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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