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theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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