Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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