idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
we should paint friendship bongs
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
