I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
