I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
