i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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