My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
