fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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