Dual....:-)
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize