"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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