i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
