I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
