I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
