I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
from now on my penis is your penis
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
