The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
