Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
