Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
