I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
