I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
