lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
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He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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