We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
