From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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