I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
