I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
