shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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