i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
