im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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