Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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