3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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