Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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