i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
