so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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