That's intense
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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