that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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