? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The best revenge is premature balding
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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