the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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