Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
