Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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