therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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