After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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