Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
