I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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