just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
